The only "Me"

I was particularly inspired by my friend (and published author) Jayne's blog entry entitled, “How Will They Remember You?” This is seriously a question I ask myself at least once a week lately. I get very worried that I haven't worked hard enough or accomplished enough in the time that I've been given.

I think Jayne makes a great point though. It's the little things we want to know about those that have gone before us. How did they celebrate birthdays? What was their favorite subject in school? Hobbies? My paternal grandmother died before I was born. There's nothing I wouldn't give to sit and read her journal. I'm told I'm so much like her – yet I really know nothing about her. I wish there had been some record of her life raising ten children on a farm. I've seen her beautiful quilt work, but I will never know what her handwriting looked like or what she thought about her world.

Leaving a legacy (even though it's not star studded or particularly glamorous) is slowly taking on new meaning for me. It's not so important that I've not accomplished BIG things, but that I write down the little things that make me tick, share the little joyful moments that keep me going.

There will never be another me on this earth. Ever. I'm not a superstar, or a hero, or a world class athlete - but I'm the only ME that will ever exist on this earth. That alone warrants a written record.

“You are so busy being YOU that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

To Make Them Proud

I have a very close family. I was raised by parents who loved me, and still love me, with all their hearts and souls. Truth be known, I adore them as well. They celebrated their 43rd wedding anniversary this week. So, yes, they love each other too. Totally.

As I was musing over some childhood memories recently, it occurred to me that everything I attempted while growing up, and endeavors I tackle as an adult, I always have one question for myself, “Would it make them proud.”

There is nothing I've ever wanted more than to make my precious parents proud of me. Many decisions I made, especially in college, would have been totally different had I not had that singular question lodged in my brain.

I may have headed out to Nashville to try a singing career – but I knew my mom would worry to pieces. I may have taken my rickety Dodge Omni on a long road trip, but I knew my father would be worried that it would leave me stranded. And it probably would have. I may have majored in music, despite my hearing loss, but then I may not have a job and that would worry my parents.

I feel like I gave up some things because I didn't want them to worry and I wanted them to be proud. But in the end, I've gained so much that the sacrifices were worth it. I may never be on a stage, or may never see California, but I can see the light in my mom and dad's eyes when I walk in with my children.

And I know I've made them proud....