Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Point?

Just wondering, really what's the point? This blog thing – I love it one day, hate it the next. I like to write what I think, what it on my mind. I DO LOVE to write. I like to chronicle my life and the lives of those of love. It's a journal of sorts, with photos included. BUT – don't most people hide their journals under their mattress or something? I have never hidden my handwritten journal, but it's only in the vicinity of near and dear, trusted family members. So, I have my heart out on my sleeve so everyone can read it – WHY? I don't have an answer. I think life is just easier when I take the advice of my husband. He basically stays out of everything and everyone's way. Can't get hurt, can't get talked about, you can't talk about anybody because there is no one to talk to when no one is there. Do I need people to read about my life – or do I just need to live it (and write about it) like “they” aren't there? Wasn't it Emerson who promoted a life of solitude? I'll have to research that, my brain is slowly leaking info and Ralph Waldo may have just fallen out. Maybe I could get out of crisis mode if I stayed away from that which causes the crisis.
I HAVE to update my business blog, business Facebook, business site. I'm thinking that my personal life should no longer be everyone else's “business.”
Or maybe I just need a break, some space from Blogspot. Bottom line, I just don't want to “deal” anymore. I think I need to revert back to a former self, a “closed book,” an “enigma.” I've been doing a lot of walking lately, and when I walk I think. I think of lots of topics to write about, my take on life and it's struggles. I begin to type and I think again, what's the point? I usually call a friend when I feel this desire to shut off all of humanity and be a hermit. This time I'm just going to be a happy loner. Maybe my desire for solitude will last three days or three months. I really don't know. What I do know is that I will be walking (exercising), thinking, reading, writing (I have a book in my head that needs to get out, a fiction novel), studying scriptures more, enjoying my family, planning for my young women group, living – all in private. If this is a phase, I'll see you all next week. If not, sorry I missed you, please feel free to leave a message.

"None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone."

"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

7 comments:

Valencia said...

I will greatly miss reading your blog, Christy, and hope you don't choose not to write. You have so much to offer and to teach others. Always know I am here if you ever need anything and I'll miss hearing about your doings and outings if you'd don't write...Take care.

Connie said...

Christy...whatever you decide is fine...I enjoy seeing your children grow and reading about their accomplishments. Is blogging just too time consuming? I can't imagine anything you say bothering anyone and if it does IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU IT IS ABOUT THEM. The world is full of mean people...don't take it personally!!! xoxoxoxoxo

scchesleys said...

I'll miss your blog but I know what you're talking about. Happy walking and whatnot! Kristi

Anita said...

Christy, take all the time you need but I hope you do come back someday! Those of us who know and love you and don't see you every Sunday at church really look forward to those photos and comments to see what's going on with you and yours. It's like those Christmas letters we send out, but one that you get over and over all year long. Even Emerson just spent 2 years on Walden Pond!

Michelle said...

I love you and your blog! I enjoy seeing your pictures and your great insights. You are one smart lady! Call me if you need to be a hermit (with company)!

Gwen said...

Christy, I often feel that same way. That's why I go in spurts of blogging and not. Just tonight I was trying to decide if I want to update my blog or leave last week's lame entry as the most recent.

We only know what is best for ourselves. I hope you find the answer. I have enjoyed getting back in touch with you via Facebook and Blogger. I missed you when you left Scrapchat. :)

Enjoy your time for yourself and family! That's what it is all about!

Terresa said...

Great post. I've been having that hermit/elusive feeling this week, too. I think mine is hormone related, but still, I'm worried it's making it's way to my blog (I'm a daily blogger & a little OCD about it).

At any rate, I think it's perfectly normal for us mama bloggers to take a break from reality (or get back to reality?!) and chill for awhile. Enjoy it. Blogland will always be here.